How you can help me? Dare!

Dare to talk to me; send a sincere email, text, or letter. Dare to drop by unexpectedly. Dare to contradict me or even have an argument. Dare to say it if you don’t know what to say. Dare to ask things; get to know me and my depression for real.

Act. Be proactive. Don’t say, “You can always call” or “Let me know if you need anything”; take the initiative. I don’t always know what I need, what I want, or what’s good for me. That’s the depression. I may not always manage to show appreciation and might not even answer the phone. But on sad days, nothing offers more comfort than your efforts that show you care.

Don’t deny me. Ask me how I am and listen. No one with depression benefits from remarks like “it will be fine” or “there are beautiful things too.” I already know the latter. I can list 100 things I should do differently to feel better, but it just doesn’t work. I’m already ashamed enough for it. That’s why I can use your understanding so much better than your judgment or advice.

Stay yourself. No matter how bad things are for me, your problems always matter, so be honest. I need you, but you don’t have to forget yourself to be there for me. In fact, if you share your things with me, I feel connected to you and can also make a difference.

Laugh, together, with and at me. It has to remain bearable for both of us. Life is already too serious.